The Rock'n'Roll History of the World

0 - 1700 Common Era:

 

 

circa 0 CE
Jesus is born.
"Tomorrow Wendy" - Andy Prieboy

circa 32 CE
Jesus walks upon the water, without so much as an Air-Nike to help him
"Jesus Walking on the Water" - Violent Femmes
"Suzanne" - Leonard Cohen

circa 33 CE
Jesus makes the most impressive comeback tour of all time
"The Post War Dream" - Pink Floyd
 "Tomorrow Wendy" - Andy Prieboy
"Vow" - Garbage

476 CE
Like an old nightclub, Rome succumbs to the Goths and the Vandals...
"Fall of Rome"- James Reyne

1150 - 1224
Saint Christina, later known as "the Astonishing", lives and dies for her faith
"Christina the Astonishing" - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

1213
Many European children learn about "Crusading" at the business end of the lash

"Children's Crusade"- Sting

1412 - 1431
Joan of Arcs feels a burning passion and fuels a passionate burning
 "Joan of Arc" - Leonard Cohen
"Vow" - Garbage

circa 1420 - Present Day
Europeans bring technology and Christianity to the unenlightened masses elsewhere

"Welcome To The Occupation"- REM

1438
Johannes Gutenberg makes more and bloodier religious wars possible
"Dear God"- XTC

1453
Constantinople gets the works
Istanbul (Not Constantinople) - They Might Be Giants
Istanbul (Not Constantinople) - The Four Lads

1492 - 1899
How the West was won
"Run to the Hills" - Iron Maiden

1519 - 1525
The Conquistadors conquer Mexico, destroying the Aztec civilisation in the process
"Montezuma Was a Man of Faith" - Andy Prieboy
"Short Memory" - Midnight Oil

1599 - 1658
Oliver Cromwell, Lord-Protector of England, lives and dies
"Oliver Cromwell" - Monty Python

1619 - 1789
Slavery is the economic basis for the "plantation era" in Virginia and other states
"Short Memory" - Midnight Oil

1649
King Charles I of England ends his reign some 10 inches shorter than he started it
"Oliver Cromwell" - Monty Python

1664
New Amsterdam becomes Old New Amsterdam, or New York to the plebes
Istanbul (Not Constantinople) - They Might Be Giants
Istanbul (Not Constantinople) - The Four Lads

 

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Copyright Loki Carbis, 2002
Last tinkered with: December 3, 2002